Yesterday saw the Australian government’s ban on social media for under-16s come into effect. Some might say that Aslan is on the move—and I’d offer up my hearty amen. For the profound harm that social media causes adolescents has been well-documented. Only many people still deny or ignore the mounting evidence. Naturally, the companies that stand to profit from social media are its most eager defenders—a bit like gun manufacturers celebrating the Second Amendment. But social media also has advocates in the real world. And until we honestly confront the terrifying and distorting grip it has over most of us, the next generation will remain in peril—regardless of social media bans.

As Tony Reinke argues in Competing Spectacles—or maybe it was 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You—when it comes to smartphone and social media use among children, the greatest responsibility falls to parents.

As Governments Step Up, Parents Should Too

According to The Daily Maverick, Australia’s ban, “drew criticism from major technology companies and free speech advocates, but was welcomed by many parents and child advocates.” Shock. Horror. However, the article goes on, “Just before the ban took effect, 86% of Australians aged eight to 15 used social media.” Let me repeat that. Nine out of ten Australian children aged 8-15 years old were on social media, surely with the knowledge of their parents. Didn’t these parents realise that neither a smartphone nor access to social media are a child’s divine right? Why did they welcome the ban when it was in their power all along to keep their children off social media? Are Australian parents aware that their children’s access to social media is largely determined by them?

Isn’t it strange that the same parents rejoicing in the Australian government’s ban could’ve imposed something like it in their own homes? Yet they didn’t.

Reflecting on this glaring inconsistency, I’ve wondered if it isn’t partly explained by our own social media habits. Without any claims of novelty, I’ve written about how social media is little more than a distraction from reality—and beauty—as well as detrimental for our mental health. But I shared this on Facebook. I enjoy a meme or short form video as much as anyone else. And along with my fellow Millennials I’ve been known to get lost down YouTube rabbit holes. All that to say: even though I’m overwhelmingly convinced about social media’s deforming effects, I still use it. This will be true for most of you reading this too.

A Lesson From C. S. Lewis’ Narnia

Since I alluded to C. S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia earlier, I might as well quote one of the more famous and quite apt lines from The Magician’s Nephew. Towards the end of the story, Aslan exclaims, “Oh Adam’s sons, how cleverly you defend yourselves against all that might do you good.” Indeed, we defend ourselves against so much good. Though if I were to invert Aslan’s words, we also knowingly avail ourselves up to so much harm—to the deforming power of social media.

Some two decades into the morass of the digital age we’ve got the data. And while it’s true that children are especially impacted negatively by social media, there’s also plenty of data to suggest that adults would be better off considerably reducing their time on those same platforms. Whether it’s addiction or anxiety, endless distraction or exceptional levels of envy, crippling comparison and discontentment, social media isn’t good for us. Yet I wonder how many people who’ve hailed the research of Jonathan Haidt have also deactivated their accounts—or, at the very least, put restrictions in place. As that line from Aslan reminds us, distinguishing between what’s salubrious and harmful doesn’t necessarily translate into opting for the former and avoiding the latter. Sometimes, the opposite is true. And I wonder if social media is one of the clearest examples of that.

Do As You Say and Think Concerning Social Media

The ban imposed by the Australian government is a terrific thing for those children—even if it’s met with weeping and teeth gnashing. But not many governments are as committed to the wellbeing of the next generation. This raises questions for parents like myself, who don’t live in Australia. These questions aren’t about our posture towards the Australian ban, but rather about our own attitude towards social media. In conclusion then, let me offer two brief exhortations.

Firstly, landing firmly back on South African soil, at the close of Lauren Beukes’ Afterland a mother tells her son, “I know that I am going to have to let you go, to go out into the world on your own. But not yet. I have fought for you my entire life, and I want what’s best for you.” If we want what’s best for our children—for the next generation—then we need a more stringent approach towards social media. As Beukes’ animated mother adds, “You’re a kid. You don’t know what you want yet.” As in, your child might want a smartphone and access to social media. Their friends might have both. But doing what’s best for your children doesn’t mean capitulating to the culture around you—not its pressure, nor your child’s demands. Be a parent. Take responsibility. Recognise that you know better.

Secondly, do you know better? If you know better, is it observable in your own treatment and approach to social media? Or are your children going to be confused by the inconsistency of limiting their access to social media while you pore over your smartphone for hours? If you’re persuaded that social media brings a host of ill-effects, act on that knowledge. Consider the data. Set them an example.